Alia’s Comments: I accepted Barbara Franken’s February “Challenge” to write about my “unique” awakening experience. The following is my response. It has been interesting to review my life in order to write this post. I am honored to share this Challenge Day with fellow WordPress blogger, Freda, an octogenarian whose path sounds similar to mine — only longer. Please enjoy these personal stories and thank you Barbara for inspiring us.
At the risk of sounding completely arrogant, I will propose that I was BORN awake. Well almost; maybe not quite.
I certainly had the intention to come through the veil of illusion with at least a partial memory intact. Once I arrived on Planet Earth in the first years of post World War II — the early years of the Baby Boom — I realized that “being awake” was NOT a good idea, so I quickly adopted the strategy of pretending to be asleep. There were some “leaky margins” and from time to time various authorities (parents, teachers and members of the clergy) saw through my pretense and caught wind of my true colors. They “corrected” my understanding vehemently and by the time I was eight or ten, I had thoroughly convinced myself to “be asleep.” I proceeded through my teenage years as a typical moody young person, rebelling against authority and deliberately shocking my family; it was the years of the Love Revolution after all and I joined the throngs of my generation who cried: “Make love not war” and opted out of the corporate power system, championing Flower Power instead.
Looking back I cannot see anything “unique” about my awakening process. There was no moment when I was struck with a beam of light (of any color) or suddenly became like a different person than I had been the moment before. Thus I was never able to write a book and make my fortune as a spiritual guide or teacher (nothing wrong with that, just wasn’t my destiny) nor was I even able to counsel people from a place of spiritual bedrock. For me, the openings in my understanding would come — and then I would forget, or go off on a different spiritual tangent. Thus I tend to think of myself as a “sampler” of just about everything, rather than a “master” of anything. Eventually, I realized that I had a very ecumenical outlook, an ability to see multiple viewpoints and understand how many different people saw the world from where THEY were standing. I believe this increased my compassion, patience and ultimately, my ability to LOVE.
In my youth, I thought that I was living an extraordinary life. My pride and arrogance allowed me feel “better” than others, because I KNEW that I was aware of much more that was going on beyond the surface facade that passed for everyday existence. Over time, however, I realized that I was living a very ordinary life, extraordinarily. Gradually, life’s challenges sanded down some of the thickest layers of pride and arrogance and the line of demarcation of my superiority began to blur, at least a bit. Those two demons still raise their ugly heads but more often now, I call them out for what they are and they slink back into their caverns or go pick on someone else.
In the early 1990s I found Barbara Marciniack’s first book of Plieadian teachings, “Bringers of the Dawn.” That book and its sequel, “Earth” became my guidance system for the next decade. Even today, I can quote many passages from those texts. These teachings opened my sleepy eyes to a WAY MORE expanded understanding of what the heck was going on on this planet and beyond. If ever I got caught in a dogma — it was from reading those books. However, there were many points that contributed to grounding me and giving me a large enough viewpoint to surf the waves of these historic transitional times.
One Pleiadian recommendation was to give up watching TV, listening to radio and reading the newspaper. The purpose of this was to break away from the mind control programming of mainstream media and learn to form my own opinions and values. I am glad to say that 20 + years of doing this has resulted in exactly that ability: even though I still get deceived by some of the most artful propaganda offered by the “elite controllers,” I usually see through their majck tricks sooner than later and am now more and more able to hold a neutral viewpoint, rather than “take a side in the argument” as they would intend for me to do. Polarity, and especially the “I am RIGHT/you are WRONG” aspect of polarity has long been the backbone of control imposed on our planetary population. The strategy of “get them to argue over trivia and thus keep them divided” still works today — it’s why the 99% have not yet defeated the 1%.
Through the many decades of my agonizingly slow awakening, I longed for that “special someone” who would make my life the magical experience that I knew in my heart it could be. Three times I married and divorced. I constantly worked on my inner self and “outgrew” my partners quickly each time. I could never “settle” with myself half finished; I always kept pushing for a more refined version. This made me very hard to live with and I admit I was less than gracious about my perception of each partner’s lack of ambition to “improve himself.”
Finally, on the Summer Solstice of 2004, my Knight in Shining Armor showed up: Tomas Qubeck was unlike any person (male or female) that I had met before. For one thing, he had established himself on his own spiritual journey that was unshakable. He made this clear to me from Day One. Secondly, although born in Indiana, he had lived outside of the United States for 40 years and thus had not “bought into” the American culture, political scene or educational system. He was a breath of fresh air for me and to this day I am gobsmacked at some of his answers to my simple inquiries about normal occurrences. He does not think like a “normal” person and this is one of the most beautiful qualities of his sterling character.
From the moment we found each other, a great and lasting stability descended upon both of us. I had never had such a steady partner. I had moved around constantly for 15 years, barely getting my things unpacked in one place before packing up and moving to another. Although Tomas had lived in many different countries of the world, he tended to put down roots in a few places rather than be in perpetual motion. Together, we established a peaceful and orderly life that gave us both a solid platform for deepening our spiritual practices. We tackled the practicalities of life TOGETHER, as a partnership and the results were at first amazing; now we’ve come to count of them. We’ve tempered each others’ tendencies to make rash, impulsive choices and learned to allow the right choice for us to show itself in its perfect time. We often feel that we live a blessed life. But we also know how hard we worked on ourselves in order to be the partners we were destined to be.
Where do I go from here? I’m still as clueless as ever. As the years pass, I know more and more and less and less. If that isn’t an awakened position, I don’t know what is. It used to bother me when I didn’t know what was happening in the world or within myself; now, life in the unknown is just the “what’s so.” I used to fear the unknown; now I trust that I am being guided on a benevolent conveyor belt that takes me only to beautiful destinations with helpful, loving people and gorgeous views along the way. This attitude took me to an Arab country (Morocco) for a year and a half, kept me safe there and gained me a whole family on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean. This attitude brought me back to my home country and blessed me with a magnificent reunion with my own family of birth. This attitude is about to take me to my new home in a completely new part of America (Arkansas) to birth a new chapter in my extraordinarily ordinary life.
When did I wake up? Who knows? Who cares? I’m here NOW and I’ve got my eyes wide open.