Position Available: “Inquire Within!”

Alia Two Months in Morocco

Alia Two Months in Morocco

There is a wonderful saying” Wherever I go, there I am.” It implies that whatever it is that I need to work out is within me and not dependent upon my circumstances. This has never been more true or evident for me than here in Morocco.

My time and experiences in Chefchaouen ignited the next phase of my evolution that continues a month after my return to Aouchtam.

With no job to go to, no cat to care for, no books to read, no car to drive around and very little internet connection — it was time to face myself.

Sometimes this process feels like boredom; at other times it feels more like fear, confusion, depression. It is not comfortable and it seems to follow me wherever I go, so I cannot avoid it or deny it for any length of time.

My mind wants to look “outside” for some explanation – there must be something wrong; perhaps you are ill and need to seek professional help; you need to get out more and interact with people, etc., etc., etc.

I reached out to some of you during the early stages of this cycle, because simultaneously, the “community” that I had come to be part of was going through its own version of this clarifying process and I felt I needed some “outside” assistance. In fact, only a few days after I returned from Chefchaouen, most of the group that was occupying the Sanctuary left for Chefchaouen and stayed there for a whole week, taking some much-needed space and reviewing their own goals with regard to community life in Aouchtam.

So there was much movement all around me as I began my personal questioning of “Why are you here?” All the reasons that had brought me to Morocco no longer seemed relevant to my staying in Morocco. But where could I go that things would be any better, or even different?

Tomas and I were each going through our own versions of this process without speaking about it much to each other, until about 10 days ago, when we had our first real dialogue about what had been going on within ourselves for the past couple of weeks.

It was this conversation that helped us realize that we had brought ourselves to a place where our lives were simplified to such an extent (those activities that had filled up our lives in the US were lessened, if not removed altogether) that the inner workings of our minds, our cravings for experiences and “forms” were finally showing themselves for what they really are – ILLUSIONS.

This understanding should have been great news for a self-proclaimed “spiritual seeker” like me but the fact was that it brought me only mild “comfort.” My nervous system continued to be submerged in a heaviness that felt somewhat like being under the surface in a pool of murky water. No great insights or relief appeared to be happening, although I did feel a certain relief at having exposed my mind’s psychological mechanisms.

The day dragged on; we ate dinner and watched a movie. I went to bed fairly early and slept well. The next morning it seemed to require all my will power to get out of bed at 8 o’clock. But as I moved into the morning, I felt that a “shift” had occurred within me. Overnight, I had integrated something that I had gained from “being with” the discomfort of the day before. I was more at peace; I felt more energy flowing and more contentment about just BEING here in this beautiful place with fewer distractions than I had in my former life situation.

I have no idea where this process is taking me. I trust that it is taking me somewhere benevolent and perfect for ME. I thought back to the intensely active lives of my mother and grandmother – working incessantly from dawn until after dark. And from what I had heard from my grandmother about HER mother’s life, it had been even more filled with duties starting BEFORE dawn. There was no time for reflection; people prayed on their feet, while DOING. (Nothing wrong with that, just saying that most of my ancestors were either awake and doing or asleep, recovering from their doing.)

I acknowledged how far at least a small portion of humanity has come in only four generations; there is now space and time for average humans to stop and inquire within. I have created the life circumstances that permit me to dive below the surface of my “normal” human existence and follow the current upstream toward its Source.

This is not a comfortable process – it goes against all societal conditioning and may even be considered “dangerous” by some very well-meaning people. However, for me, it is the path I chose early in this life; the path I resumed 10 years ago when I met Tomas. Now, it beckons me forward toward an unexplored (by me) frontier. I am about to “cross the plains” of my own BEING and just like my pioneering ancestors, there are no guarantees about what I will find.

I repeat: this is NOT a comfortable process. However, I choose to continue “inquiring within” while keeping the “distractions” to a minimum. Even if it means I’ll need to “be with” boredom, confusion, depression or fear, until the pond water settles and I can see clearly where my next step will take me.

June 20, 2014: As a result of the experience described above, Tomas and I began meditating again two or three times a day, as we had at times in Gold Beach. We immediately felt the stabilizing and clarifying effects of this action. I knew before leaving the USA that part of what I would be doing in Morocco would be “energy work.” In my opinion there is no better way to do energy work than to sit in silence with the intention to be of service to the Whole

Here is a two-minute excerpt from Eckhart Tolle — “Being Fully Present”



7 thoughts on “Position Available: “Inquire Within!”

  1. If we need to put a label on your growth experience, it would be like “awakened” meditation – when our own mind’s awareness becomes conscious of it’s own inner workings. i.e. does it really “matter” if “forms” are really illusions? That’s like asking your mother, who was she if not for her “doings”, or who are you if not for “being”? In a way it’s like experiencing the death of our societal conditioning/ identity/ egoic trip. If one drops EVERYTHING, including the idea/ practice of meditation, then what?
    Then perhaps without the thought constraints from our past, we can all work towards creating that future “with the intention to be of service to the Whole”. That’s a really great start. 🙂

  2. Learning to allow where we are within is all that where we are located without is ever helping us remember. The location we inhabit in the world with all the changing actors and props is the uniquely designed mirror we create for ourselves to help with remembering it is not the doings of living, but the quality of our being while doing that ultimately helps us evolve. Beautiful share. -x.M

    • Thanks M — I was “Back in the soup” again today. Tomas was there yesterday — I “caught” it from him (lol). So thank you for the reminder once again. It’s an uncomfortable reflection to look at/be with. Peeling off the layers of false identity is quite tiresome but it’s what I choose to do at this point in my path. Blessings and love for your support and encouragement and wonderful insights, Alia

  3. Dearest Alia, Thank you so much for your deeply personal story and exposure of the journey you are on. As I read it a couple of things came to mind. One, is the reminder you gave me– to do Ho’oponopono 24/7. As I understand Ho’oponopono, it is a making of amends, a clearing and cleaning of the tapes that are playing in our subconscious, of which we are mostly, or shall I say, completely, unaware. The memories coming from the unaware place may not even have originated in this life, but rather in previous lives, or may be messages carried from our ancestors. The beauty of Ho’oponopono is that we do not have to know where those memories and tapes originated from. We just have to be willing to have them cleared, cleaned, removed by the Source of All that IS! Any blocks, problems, unknowns can be offered to the Divine to be cleared.

    I have found this beautiful, powerful gift to be utterly amazing and truly miraculous. Additionally, I have noticed a distinct internal shift within me. I have not been able to clearly describe it, but I am very aware that my inner world is changing, – expanding, and it is more calm and peaceful. I am freer of worry than I have ever been.

    This all falls in line with our understanding that this is the time of great change and evolution. I just looked up code #7, one of my favorites _ Release Your Local Mind’s Constant Scanning for What Needs to Be Done! I Love that! I was looking for the code that talks about releasing the compulsive need to know, but couldn’t find it.

    And lastly, I’ll share a conversation I had with my 27 year old son today. He is the one who started his own business, the sushi wagon. It is quite successful and he is doing well. I made a comment to him that if he was “really hungry” and wanted to be “really successful”, he could work at his one location during the day, and another location at night. His response to me was that that was “old thinking”. He went on to tell me that that’s the way people thought in the “old days”, where in order to be successful you had to work non-stop, day in and day out. He told me that that is NOT necessary to be successful! It doesn’t take that kind of effort.— At first I thought, wow, he’s got a lot to learn, but then I decided that maybe he was right. Maybe it is a matter of choosing to be successful on our own terms, and creating success from a new paradigm. ( I was reminded of this conversation as a result of you sharing about how much you and the generations before you worked, worked and worked. I would say the same has been true for me as well!) There is the part of me that still wants to argue that he has this mindset because he has not really had to struggle to get ahead as we and our ancestors did, but maybe that’s the fertile ground that it takes to birth a new reality about work and success. That creates the ability to do things differently, refusing to succumb to the former patterns. His perspective is worth considering. I say, ‘you go boy”!

    Thanks for all of your intimate sharing. I know there are many of us who appreciate it.

    Much love and many blessings, Polli

    Date: Fri, 20 Jun 2014 09:35:06 +0000 To: pollioliver@hotmail.com

    • Aloha Polli — Thank you so much for elucidating the Ho’oponopono prayer and its value so elagnatly for everyone here on my blog to read. I have indeed been working with this tool during this process and you are quite correct that one need not know the origin of what is being cleared; only a willingness to release the past is required. Wonderful!
      Regarding the conversation with your son, I believe you have correctly assessed his perspective. Some who have not had to “work” for their success, have become “lazy” but others are finding new and more simple methods of allowing success to “find” them. Such is the new way, I believe. I would continue this conversation, if I were you — asking your son for more information about his way of doing things. Thank you for all your love and support. I am so blessed to have so much support from so many ♥

  4. My dearest sister…

    What a beautiful story of discovery, it brought back my memories of my adventure in finding my inner self.  What I know today is, that was my preparation for my journey I am on right now, how lucky we are to have the opportunity to have these discoveries about ourselves and this beautiful planet we live on.

    I love you and hold you in love and light.

    Much love

    • Dear Spiritdancing — I was just thinking about you yesterday and realizing that we had not communicated via electronic messaging since I came to Morocco. Glad to know that telepathy is working loud and clear. Thanks for your beautiful validation of my process. I feel blessed to know you and I thank you so much for your loving support — especially NOW and HERE. Blessings back to you Dear One ♥

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